Between Unbecoming & Becoming: The Necessary Death 🧝‍♂️

EDITION 5

Last week, I wrote about the messy middle—the space between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming.

Since then, I’ve felt unsettled.

Not in a drama-fueled way—just a slow circling. Like my whole system knew something deeper was waiting to surface… but I wasn’t quite ready to look it in the eye.

Then today, after the rain cleared and the air took on that charged quiet that settles after a storm—something shifted.

My mum recently gave me The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest—a book about self-sabotage and transformation that I’ve only just started reading. I’m barely into chapter one, but already it’s stirred something definite.

To become who we're meant to be,
we first must unbecome who we've been.

(And yes—that realization feels exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds.)

Because transformation—change in any form—isn’t just about adding new routines or changing scenery.
Sure, those things can lead toward a better version of yourself.
But in this context, it’s about surrender.
About letting go of parts of ourselves that no longer fit.
It’s a soul-deep shift.
An unbecoming.

Like the caterpillar who doesn’t just grow wings—but dissolves entirely before becoming a butterfly.

And yet… we resist it.

We cling to identities that once kept us safe.
We armour ourselves with old thinking, old selves, old stories—even when they no longer serve the person we’re trying to become.

Suddenly, self-sabotage makes a strange kind of sense.
It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness.
It’s protection—a scared part of ourselves trying to preserve the known in so much unknown.

This week, when I sat down to write (and thus the lateness), my survivor self showed up first.
She gave it a right go—even though she knows it's time to let go.

Then I read this quote from Brianna’s book:

It continues:

But then—a softer truth rolls in:

And just like that—the stage lights come on.

This isn’t only about loss.
It’s about alignment.

It’s the untangling of survival... and the conscious choosing of what feeds your becoming.

So if you’re standing—like me—at the edge of something uncertain…

If you feel caught between the person you’ve been and the version of you that feels unfamiliar but infinitely more true…

Take a breath.
Thank your survivor self.
They did their job.
They carried you here.

And then gently ask yourself:

No more clinging.
No more resisting the shape-shift that’s quietly asking to unfold.

Just one surrender at a time.
One honest release after another.

Because sometimes, discomfort isn’t failure.
It’s not a warning.
It’s a green light.

A signal that something wild—and wildly, beautifully aligned—is about to begin. 🧝‍♀️

That’s all for now.

Until next week.

Always light,

Shanna "between lives" Lindinger

P.S. If you have a friend who’s in that messy stretch too—unbecoming, shifting, starting over in quiet ways—feel free to forward this their way. Sometimes, knowing we’re not alone in the in-between makes all the difference.

WILDER ESSENTIALS

What's On Shanna’s List of Things Right Now

▶ Thinking Spot: Coastal path walks with the pooch

▶ Podcast pick: The Rich Roll Podcast

▶ Current read: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest

▶ Writing setup: MacBook Pro + simple notebook and pen

WRITER OF THE WEEK

Brianna Wiest: Architect of Authentic Becoming
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Brianna Wiest isn't just an author — she's a master builder who helps us dismantle the structures of self-limitation we've unconsciously constructed . Through penetrating insights and compassionate clarity, she reveals how our most persistent obstacles often arise from within.

Her observation that "your new life is going to cost you your old one" isn't just cautionary wisdom. It's liberating truth.

Wiest reminds us that transformation requires both destruction and creation — that we must sometimes tear down familiar frameworks before building something more authentic . By embracing the necessary losses that accompany growth, we lay the foundation for a life that reflects our deepest truth rather than our most ingrained habits.

Let’s keep exploring together