What’s With the Messy Middle? 🍩

EDITION 4

I read something the other day that suggested maybe we’re not in the wrong place—maybe we’re exactly where we need to be.
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Because sometimes, we can be stuck in that hazy, in-between phase, unknowingly gathering lessons we never knew we needed.

Not quite sure what that means?
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It is, dear friends, often called the “messy middle.”
​(Which isn’t too far off, because for all intents and purposes, you really do find yourself smack dab in the middle of what feels like a real mess.)

As Bruce Feiler puts it:

Think about that caterpillar for a moment. It doesn’t simply don a pair of wings and fly off.
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No, sir.

Inside the cocoon, it literally dissolves into goop—no form, no flight, no guarantee. It’s only after this messy, uncertain meltdown that it transforms into a butterfly. Skip the goop stage, and there’s no fluttery freedom.
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Same goes for us: sometimes we have to sit in the mushy middle before emerging with something new.

It’s kind of like that moment before a road trip—what often feels like frantic packing and re-checking. You go through closets, decide what to keep, and toss in a few “just in case” items. One last sweep, then off you go. Nobody mid-journey says, “Wow, what a waste of time, grabbing those extra socks.”

(If you ever find yourself in the Koue Bokkeveld, pack extra socks. But I digress...)

The point is, we instinctively know that prep—that messy deciding—is a necessary step toward getting onto that gravel road leading somewhere awesome.
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So why not treat life’s in-betweens the same way?

A Few Real-Life Messy Middles

• Starting a New Gig While Exiting an Old Role​
  My current reality. It’s exciting but also a swirl of Do I have everything I need?

• Contemplating a Move​
  Maybe your lease is up, and you’re not sure if you can (or should) relocate, but you feel pulled to try.

• Rebuilding Post-Shift​
  A recent breakup, a family change, or a health scare—any big life shake-up can leave you stuck between the old and the not-quite-yet formed.

No matter the circumstance, each messy middle needs a kind of “packing” phase, even if it’s emotional. You can’t carry everything—some things have to go, and others are too important to leave behind. And that’s where a little mindful sorting helps lighten the load.

Emotional Baggage vs. Essentials

Think of your thoughts and feelings like packing items:

• What’s Useful?​
  Hope, openness, a dash of curiosity—those are comfy basics you’ll use time and time again.

• What’s Dead Weight?​
  Resentments or old insecurities that just weigh you down. They might not even fit anymore.

• What’s “Just in Case”?​
  Some caution or fear might be practical, like an extra hoodie for chilly nights in the Koue Bokkeveld. But overpack fear, and you’ll leave no room for optimism (or movement).

Trust the Process

Some days, it’s uncomfortable. Even after last week’s post on “shiny objects,” I still catch myself spinning in Wait, is this the right path? But maybe—juuuust maybe—it’s worth reframing that swirl as me “packing” for what’s next. Skip this stage, and we potentially arrive unprepared. 🧦🧦

So for now, I’m leaning in—really leaning in—and trusting that even this half-sorted, “kinda gloopy” feeling is part of the journey.

(Here’s to embracing the messy middle—extra socks and all.)

That’s all for now.
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Until next week.

Always light,

Shanna "Koue Bokkeveld packing" Lindinger

P.S. Know someone else who’s stuck in a messy middle? Share this with them—maybe it’ll help them pack their metaphorical bag.

P.P.S. Serendipitously, while I was swirling in uncertainty just yesterday, my mum told me, “You don’t need to worry; everything will work out.” I’m taking her at her word—maybe you can, too. 🧙‍♀️

WILDER ESSENTIALS

What's On Shanna’s List of Things Right Now

▶ Thinking Spot: Coastal path walks with the pooch

▶ Podcast pick: The Rich Roll Podcast

▶ Current read: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest

▶ Writing setup: MacBook Pro + simple notebook and pen

PERSON OF THE WEEK

Bruce Feiler: Navigator of Life's Transitions
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Bruce Feiler isn't just an author — he's a cartographer of life's most challenging terrain. Through thousands of interviews and personal exploration, he maps the territory of human transitions with both scientific rigour and heartfelt compass ion.

His insight about "the messy middle" isn't just an observation. It's a permission slip for all of us caught between what was and what will be.

Feiler reminds us that discomfort during transitions isn't a sign something's wrong — it's evidence we're doing the necessary work of transformation. By embracing the cocoon-like phase of dissolving and reforming, we create space for new versions of ourselves to emerge.

Let’s keep exploring together